We are often told that we should love ourselves first before we can love others. But when you think about it, we are always taught to love others more, to the point that we bend over backward for people who won’t do the same for us. In the end, we see a lot of stories of people feeling so used, alone, or worthless.
There’s nothing wrong with giving unconditional love to others. But it becomes a problem when you have no idea how to love yourself first.
Most of us do not have a clue what self-love is. Is inspiring yourself with motivational words part of self-love? How about eating your favorite food? How can you truly love yourself?
What Self-Love Is NOT
One lie about self-love is that you should indulge yourself in everything you want. Self-indulgence can take the form of emotional eating, casual sex, retail therapy, or consuming alcohol and drugs.
I’m no stranger to this. There was a time when I fought stress with shopping. I found comfort in using my credit card to buy the latest in luxury clothes, shoes, and bags. I thought to myself, “You deserve this, Toni. Love yourself, spend more!” I believed I was loving myself by shopping. I thought I was being kind to myself.
In reality, I was abusing myself. All the things I did to “love myself” never gave me long-term happiness or a sense of fulfilment. I was still empty and I wanted more.
What Is Self-Love Really About?
Self- love isn’t about being a narcissist or being self-indulgent. It’s about prioritizing your basic physical and emotional needs. It focuses on caring for your personal welfare before you serve others.
Loving yourself is also a form of personal encouragement. You take care of yourself because you believe you have the potential to make your day great. Self-love is evident in choosing healthy food, having regular exercises, and personal motivation. You make sure you engage in things that are physically, mentally, and emotionally empowering. You can treat yourself to a day in the spa, wise spending, or anything you want to do as long as it rejuvenates you.
Self-Love is a Matter of Importance
God showed unconditional love to us. He created each one of us for a special purpose that will glorify Him. If we do not take care of ourselves or love ourselves in a healthy way, we miss out on the opportunities He has laid out for us.
Also, it is important that you have something to fuel your life with love without waiting for others to do it for you. When you love yourself, you are able to fill the gap people leave in your life with positivity.
Greater Life Satisfaction
Appreciating yourself helps you appreciate life better. When you are confident and know that you are fulfilling your life’s purpose, you will have a positive outlook in life.
Better Mental Health
Self-love keeps you from drowning in a pool of insecurity and negativity. Resolving mental health concerns is more straightforward for people who practice self-love. Individuals who struggle with addiction or other mental health concerns, need to develop a positive relationship with themselves first.
Reduction in Stress
Loving yourself means giving yourself a break from stress. You can complete your tasks or work without bouts of anxiety.
The Right Way to Love Yourself
As I mentioned, I struggled with loving myself the way I should. I filled my life with temporal things thinking it will be enough to make me feel loved. Still, I found myself struggling. I hated myself for failing my loved ones, for incurring debts due to my excessive shopping, and for my wrong treatment of other people.
It is only by God’s grace that I’m getting better at practicing self-love.
You can do it too.
- Start by investing in your spiritual growth. Remember: you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the God of the heavens and the earth. Matthew 10:30-31 speaks a bit about His love for you. One of the best ways to love yourself is to invest in Him. Grow more in your love for Him by learning more about Him through Sunday services, discipleship groups, and regular Bible studies.
- Invest in your personal growth. Discover your talents and hone them. List your strengths and attend personal growth courses. Know your passion first before you dive in training courses so that you’ll know where to apply or what to invest in.
- Finally, don’t forget to pamper yourself every now and then.
Self-love is the fuel that keeps you going. When you love yourself, you are able to share that love with others. It is not wrong to appreciate yourself once in a while. It builds your confidence and brings in positivity. When you are able to love yourself, you are ready to love and appreciate the world around you.
Getting to this stage in life is not done in a day. It takes a lifetime even to accept you are and love yourself. Let me help you discover your true worth so you can learn to practice self-love. I will personally coach you to becoming a person who knows her worth and pursues her God-given purpose. Let’s talk.